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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Dilemma


I don't know what to think. Really.
I am sure I like you, but to what extent, I have no idea.
Should I start a chase or let things go?
Do I like you because you're you,
or because there is someone who does, too?
Or maybe because I got into my stupid head the idea
that you might like me too.

But the problem you see, is it hurts and I'm not even sure
if it should.
Do I tell you? Is there something I am afraid to lose?
If I act as if it doesn't matter, will it really not matter?
I might just shoot myself in the foot.

So what do I do? Do I let you know?
Would I become the girl who tells things just as they are,
and will I win this feelings game that way?

I still think these sort of feelings is stupid and cheesy and totally not worth the headache.
Or the heartache. Or the effort. Or anything at all.

Maybe I should just tell you.
Maybe I should just let it go.
Maybe. Maybe.


Monday, May 5, 2014

What I Wish I Could Say...

...right now.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting you walk that dark pathway all by yourself, but I have to let go. I can't look after you that much anymore.

I don't know if I could even be that much of a friend, actually.

You see, I don't wanna fall, but I am starting to tip over.

I'm starting to think of you a lot. I am starting to worry about you, even when I should not.

I don't want to fall. Not with you. I am pretty sure you wouldn't want to catch me anyway.

So I have to put more distance between us. I don't want routines, inside jokes, feelings.

I want you to know, though, that watching you walk away tonight is one of the saddest things I've seen for a while.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Things I Know By Now

Your shirt size, if by a certain brand
(and your underwear size,
if only I was paying attention)
And what kind of tshirt you'd most likely wear.
What you'd order, if you don't know what to order.
Your default Starbucks coffee.
And the popcorn flavor you'd get.

And what you'd say when I say I don't know.
I think I can tell what sort of songs you like,
and what movies you'd vehemently refuse to watch
(I am still trying to change your opinion, though).

I can tell when you don't wanna talk.
And when you'd want to. I think.

What I don't know, until now,
is despite all that I know
that you don't know that I know...

where do I stand?

Does all this knowledge
give me even a tiny, little bit of chance?