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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Can We Talk About the Moon?

I want us to discuss the merits of the moon.

Whether it was worth climbing 10 floors to the roofdeck just to see it smile.

       Or should I just photograph it for you?

I want us to discuss my romanticism--
 whether it is excessive (yes, I think you think so).

Whether the moon is just being plain, and I am just being too gushy.
Whether it reminds you of something.
       
         Even-- do you care?


I want us to discuss the moon.

Until, even when I'm no longer in your orbit,
it'd remind you of me.

But I close the messenger even before the courage to type in the first letter arrives.
For surely, you'd just think I'm being silly.

       "The moon does not merit a discussion."

 And that'd be the end of it.

Again.
And again and again.



Saturday, February 1, 2014

What I Will Not Be

I will not be someone who says she'd wait,
And then prod and whine and complain
that something-- or someone is taking too long.

I will not wait forever, though.

I will not be someone who says she had made up her mind,
then change it by the minute.

When my mind is made up, you can hardly change it,
Mind that you still can, you just have to try hard.

I will not be someone who conceals her thoughts
and expects it to be read with clarity.

I will conceal my thoughts, though
but I will not hold the reader accountable for any misinterpretation.

I will not be needy, nor clingy.
That does not mean I will never need anyone.
Just that when I need you,
I'll keep in mind that I can't keep you
Or anyone.
No matter how much I want to.

So I won't try.

Forward?

I don't know. Perhaps, despite the numerous brakes, our story is finally moving forward. Jerkingly, slowly, forward, like a machine waking out of slumber, but a movement nonetheless.

I am not fooling myself. There will still be times that the whole thing will halt-- or set off to an entirely different direction than what I had hoped for. But I am hopeful that I have made peace with that outcome.

For I will always remember today. I dared ask you, and despite your non-answer, I got the response I was hoping for.