Thursday, April 17, 2014

I Hate You

I want to. I want to think of you as the bad guy who has been stringing me along and then dropped me like a hot potato when the pretty girl finally notices you.

But you are not a bad guy. And me, no matter how hard I try, cannot hate you.

Because you didn't string me along. Sure, you showed something out of character that made me think you might have some feelings for me, but maybe it was just me who misinterpreted things. It was just me who thought I was special just because you were suddenly chatty, nicer, when in truth you haven't change at all.

I wish I could hate you though. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much when I see that green dot beside your name and I haven't receive any message when not so long ago there'd be tons from you waiting to be read when I go online.

It sucks falling in love with an illusion. It sucks more when you can't hate that illusion because the rational part of you knows that you are the one who built that illusion.

It sucks that I can't hate you, that I still hope things would go back the way they are and I'd have my happy ending with you.

I hate you. I want to.

If I repeat it a thousand times, will I finally feel it?


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