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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Waiting For Agua De Mayo

My flash fic published at The Shine Journal:


(click on the pic to read full story)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Saranggola Blog Awards

Dami nang nagtanong sa kin kung ano nangyari dun sa awarding ng Saranggola Blog Awards. Bilang kulang madalas sa oras, palaging 'OK lang' yung sagot ko. (Heto na naman ako sa ng/nang. Di ko talaga maalala yung tamang gamit. Sorry na. T_T )

Pero di talaga OK lang. Pano ba naman...

1. I met new friends. Say Hiiiiiii! to Kat and Niña! Buti na lang pinastay nila ako sa table nila. Uber-friendly at madaming kwento, kaya enjoy. :) At surprise, surprise, we were all from UP. :) Astig yan si Kat, galing pa Bacolod. At pasok sa  dalawang category ha. Si Nins (ok lang ba tawagin kitang Nins? n_n), 2nd year na niya sa SBA. 

Peace is Some Sleep


(click on the image to view its full size.)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Yaaaaaaay!

An email arrived several days ago that made me very, very happy!


My entry to the Saranggola Blog Awards (tula) is a finalist. Yaaaaay!!!!!
Please, please go and read my entry. And if you like it, please vote for it. Thanks in advance! :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

How do you turn a misadventureful-enclosed in single quotes - 'vacation' into a super-duper fun one?

Simple. You take your craziest friends, make sure at least one supermom is with you-- and you got it! Despite, in spite of any trouble, inconvenience, bad luck (not that we believed in it. haha), traffic, storm, car trouble, flood, rain, strong waves, boat trouble, vehicle transfers, seaweeds, hassle, bumpy rides and noxious fumes inside the vehicle.
And oh, great food does wonders.
Naga-Caramoan-Buhi-Quezon Trip, October 29-November 1 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Pages out of (my) Diary

I draw what I couldn't put into words.

Ah, decisions. I hate making them. :|
Solved. See: Found JNDI
...turned out OK.
It was.
Re: Bicol Trip. I am sooo excited. Salt and sand again. Yay!
My office PC (running on Windows 2k) succumbed to BSOD. Thankfully. It's now running on XP. My files got corrupted though, but no big deal.
Another self-portrait.
Somebody is.
The problem with talking with codes is that some days later, you have no idea what you were talking about. In my case, that is.
Too much drama.
Maybe I got 'em, maybe I didn't.


All pics are taken with my trusty cellphone cam, then edited (brightness, contrast) with Gimp

Monday, October 18, 2010

Sand and Salt

There was salt on my skin
and sand on my hair.


One weekend at Hundred Islands, Pangasinan.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Forthcoming :)


Yaay!
Seedpod  will publish my first twitfic on Oct 24. Follow seedpodpub :)
unFold accepted my submission. It will be published on Nov 3 and Nov 5. Follow unFold  to read 'em.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Bukas Kaya?

Walang Alam

Di siya marunong lumangoy
--wala namang ilog na mapagpapraktisan.
Di siya marunong umakyat ng puno
--wala namang punong matutuntungan.
Di siya marunong gumaya ng huni ng ibon
--wala na rin kasing ibong napapakinggan.

Ni hindi niya nga alam
       kung ano ang tarsier, o tamaraw, o pilandok--
naubos na ng walang pakundangan
at kahit na may maipakita akong larawan,
ano naman ang larawan sa batang walang nakita, naranasan
--kaya walang alam?
Kawawa naman ang anak ko.

***

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Pessimist

i am in the middle of spring.
gentle breeze
fruitful trees
flowers a-bloom.

and yet
while i should be a-twirlin'
laughing with the wind
and letting the sun
dry the dew off my hair--

i sit among the grass
itchy and scared
my eyes upon the sky
waiting
for the sign of storm
and a hint of a cloud rain.

i am in the middle of spring.
i should be celebrating.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Published! (Yay!)

An acceptance (or two!) after a series of rejections is indeed a breathe of fresh air. Understatement. It's a storm of good vibes. Finally, you can tell yourself, I'm not just pretending to be a writer. Somebody thinks I can actually do it. Yay!

1. joyful! accepted my poem: "Jigsaw Puzzle Life" to be published in January. Watch out for it. ;)
2. My flash fiction was accepted and published at With Painted Words.

 You can read the full story here.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Pen and Paper

Alone on a Highway. Picture inspired by a trip along XLex where X is either N or S. I'm not sure which.
reflections on the black monitor.
Almost Au. Self portrait
Contrast. Smile!
Bad Hair Day
Home Atop Rocks. Inspired by the house we saw halfway to Mt. Daguldul's peak
Homebound by Sunset. I am proud of that boat. ;)
Rendezvous. Inspired by a picture from our Mt. Daguldul trip.

Changes

I'm going to post artworks and short stories here from now on, instead of just poetry. :D

Thursday, September 16, 2010

ulit.

nakakailang pasa na ko.*
ibinabalik lang.
nakakailang subok na
na parang walang pinatutunguhan.
minsan, naitatanong ko din sa sarili,
ano bang saysay ng pagpupumilit;
ng pagbangon sa pagkakadapa
at pagtahak sa parehong daan
ng paulit-ulit?
parang wala.

maliban sa--
mga bagong ideya,
mas maganda sa nauna.
mga bagong leksyon
at inspirasyon.
malalaman kong ang tapang ko pala--
upang buksan ang puso
at ipabasa sa iba
ang mga kathang nabuo,
mga sikreto nagpapanggap na kwento
mga pangarap, takot, halo-halong nadarama
sa mga taong di ko naman kilala.

salamat sa mga katagang:
sulat lang.

:)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Two strangers in a bus

Two strangers in a bus

Uneasy silence
fingers busy with phone
wrapped up in ipod sounds
bus skidding to a stop
bodies thrown in a sudden
eyes meet
burst of laughter
silence...
then--
gathering courage to speak
hopeful glances
hidden smiles
the bus stops---
it's sad goodbye

Thursday, September 2, 2010

sa totoo lang

kahit na tumatawid sa overpass
umuulan, madulas ang hagdan,
at nakikita ang mga magkapares
nakaalalay sa isa't isa...
sa totoo lang,
kaya naman na magpanggap
na hindi pag-asam
ng iyong presensya
ang nararamdaman.
na hindi,
'sana, sana andito ka
nakaalalay, para di ako madulas
habang umuulan,
habang tumatawid sa overpass
sa gitna ng sampu, sandaang
magkahawak-kamay,
magkaalalay...
habang ang tanging nakadikit sa palad ko
hawakan ng payong.
payong. panlaban sa basa
ngunit hindi sa lamig...
at lalong hindi sa pag-iisa.

Friday, August 13, 2010

That Voice

When my ears are filled with voices of people telling me what to do,
and in my heart, a cacophony of fears and insecurities overflow;
you are that tiny voice that I sometimes not hear because of the noise
you know where I should go.
And when sometimes I forget that I only have to pause and listen
to have all the answers that I need;
Sometimes I rush on and try to do things on my own, 
and I fall and stumble because I failed to take heed
You whisper to me and when I hear you I know
You are that little voice and you know where I should go.
When I sit down with my head between my knees
and my shoulder slumped with the weight of my mistakes
You speak to me as if I'm a child, gentle in your reprimand
'Child, leave everything to me. Here, take my hand.'
And I'd know without asking that everything will be okay
Because you are that tiny voice, and you will show me the way.

Monday, July 26, 2010

This Heart Of Flesh

I used to believe that a heart of stone is better.
It won’t hurt at the sight of hungry young children at the streets.
It wouldn’t be squeezed at the thought that all you can is leave them
is food for their stomach and not much anything else.
It wouldn’t flinch at the blood
thrown all over your tv screen
during evening news while you eat dinner.
It won’t wonder why some people could do the things that they do
and why people like you let them do so.
It won’t bleed when somebody who is supposed to there forever
had left and you’re alone and no one to wipe away the tears
you wish others will never see.
It won’t hope for something you will never have
because it wasn’t meant for you.
It won’t feel any hurt, any anger or sadness– or anything at all.
But.
A heart of stone doesn’t swell at the sight of a very young boy
whom you expect to be very rude because of how he looks like
help a young lady cross the street and makes you think–
something is very wrong with your judgement.
It wouldn’t overflow with happiness
at the gifts that were meant for you to have;
it won’t thump at the sight of a smile
you’ve been waiting to see.
No, a heart of stone doesn’t leap at the wonders
that God had cleverly placed where you would discover them:
a star, though very faint, still shines through the clouds;
the view of the city, and the clear skies from the floor where you work
after a nasty storm;
and a spot of blue– in the middle of the gray–
presents from Him who takes away
the stone and gives life
to the heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 11:19: I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

obviously

did you catch me
trying not to look at you?
then you must have seen
that i failed.
did you hear me
speak your name?
then i must have spoken
my thoughts aloud.
did you notice
the tinge of pink in my face
and did you hear
a sudden thump
--it was my heart.
then it was not my imagination,
you were looking at me,
and watching me too. :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

There was a butterfly in the middle of the sea

There was a butterfly
in the middle of the sea
Who bravely flew. 
Still got a long way to go...
The waves were crashing
grinding below.
There was nowhere to land
Can't stop to rest
It's death below
What to do?

There was a butterfly
in the middle of sea
Who had gone a long way
What is it doing in such a place?
Who or what is it running away from?

Should it fly on, 
Should it stop?
Either way, death is almost too certain
Which is better then?
To just stop
and let the waves do their work
Or fly on, to hold on to the hope
that the land might be nearby, 
when it could be not?

Sometimes,
I feel like 
a butterfly in the middle of the sea
but I am certain that you would come
and rescue me.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Time To

This is the time of the day when thoughts, unbidden, rush in.
Like water from a dam with broken walls,
torn gates, a dam that has ceased to be a dam.
Thoughts that were suppressed. Walled within a brain that sleeps
while the lights are on and then--
 these thoughts upon midnight come and the walls tumble down,
and they flow,
flow, like an avalanche.
Thick. And uninvited.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The World Knows The Secret

there was a secret you told me when i was new
the same secret that you told the flowers
who told me the secret too
back when i was not yet old enough
not to understand
that we had a secret-- me, the flowers, you.

oh, but the trees
the wise old towering trees
were told of our secret, too.
and they would tell me--
remind me of our secret
back when i was yet young and wise enough
to hug the trees and listen to them whisper
our secret-- mine, the flowers, the trees, yours.

of course, the little birds
who built their homes on the trees
knows the secret
they were also told.
and every morning, they'd remind me of that-
the secret that i used to know
before the years dimmed
my understanding of their songs.
and even so, the birds keep singing our secret--
mine, the flowers, the trees, the birds, yours.

the flowers, the trees, the birds
and even the grass under my feet
they all knew the secret
how i could i forget?
but i did-- and worse
I forgot
that the flowers, the trees, the birds
and even the grass under my feet
knew the secret,
tell me of it.
you told them
so I would not forget.

and everything of the world
once in the past was told
of our secret. and some, they remembered
but some,
and I for one,
forgot.
But the world knows that there was a secret
between me, the flowers, the trees,
the grass under my feet,
and everything of the world and you.

I remember now.

Monday, July 12, 2010

If I Could Shrink

What if could become smaller,
Shrink until I become unseen
Shrink until a speck of dust
becomes bigger than a mountain?

If I could become smaller
smaller than a pin
I could sleep atop my CPU
sleep undisturbed-- unseen.

But then, there would be some problems
Discomfort, you may say.
For the CPU would be very hot
hotter than the streets
on a very hot summer day.

Well then I could sleep at the top of my table
behind the books I stacked.
But the cleaning man may wipe that table
and with me in his wiping cloth-- stuck.

And then there's the problem of being seen
Of growing small, and growing back
for what might people think,
wouldn't that come as a shock?

And how to ensure that I would be the same size as before?
That I would still be as tall (or should I say small)?
What embarrassment, what shame (oh the shame!)
If I become plump as a pillow or as flat as a door.

So if I could shrink
(and I do hope I could not)
I wouldn't, not even If I'm very sleepy
I would not. I would not.

****************************
Hapontukin thoughts.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Today I Miss You

Today I miss you
suddenly, like a song
that enters my mind
without warning
unaware
I was singing along.

Today I miss you
out of the blue
It came like a flash:
a snapshot of our past
ghost of a laughter
a phantom of what you said
that I couldn't clearly remember
or totally forget.

Today I miss you
there is a little room
that you own without asking
at the back of my head.
and a you-shaped impression
at some little part of my heart
that i could (or would-maybe) not rid.

Today I miss you
just like I did yesterday
... and the day before.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Mulat na Diwa

Ang batang may pasok bukas ay tulog na dapat ngayon. 
Kaso di na ako bata, at kahit gusto ko nang matulog, 
mailap ang antok, peke ang mga hikab 
at ang isipa'y punong-puno ng mga ideyang di naman buo 
at di naman konkreto. 
Tulog na. May pasok pa bukas. 
Ipikit ang mga matang ayaw sumara. 
Hayaang nakawin ng kawalang-malay 
ang isipang abala 
kahit madaling-araw na. 
Tulog na.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

written on the third sunday of june

i wish i knew you
back when you were young
back before bitter days
and lonely nights
and harsh words
did the damage
that was done.
i wish i knew
the dreams
that fermented in your mind
when anger and hurt
did not overflow.

i wish i knew you
before the years
that i remember.
back to the time
when every time
you throw me up in the air
i was sure you'd catch me;
before the time i realized
that you had stopped doing so--
both the throwing
and the catching.
before the memories
of dark, and noisy
and angry nights
and the screaming
filled my ears--
never to leave
even after many, many years.
i wish.

but now,
you are but
ashes and memories
and nothing
and wishes won't reach you no more.
still...
happy father's day.

ps.
i'm not angry anymore.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Katagal

Ang oras
kapag may inaantay
di katulad ng oras
sa facebook
alas-nuwebe lang kanina
pagkalipas ng (akala'y)
sampung minuto
alas singko na pala.
Hindi katulad ng oras
sa nakakabatong klase
Ang isa't kalahating oras
(parang) kalahati ng buhay
ang nakalipas.
ang oras pag may inaantay
parang tukso
minsan akala mo
matagal pa palang darating
at tama ngang akala mo.
minsan naman, parang kay tulin
kakabahan ka
kasi papalapit na
(mukhang) abot kamay na
tapos matutuklasan
malayo pa pala
o kaya
mas malala
di matukoy
kung darating pa ba...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

LSS

Pasensya na.
Kung paulit-ulit kong kinakanta
Naaalala kasi kita.
Ang bawat salita, bawat kataga
Tayo ang tinutukoy, o
Ikaw ang paksa.

Pasensya na.
Kung paulit-ulit tumutugtog
paulit-ulit mong naririnig
Para sa yo kasi.
At parang isinulat sa kanta
ang mga hindi masabi.

Pasensya na. Pasensya na.
Pero para sa 'yo
kasi ang kanta.

Monday, June 7, 2010

dear mr.

a lot of people are writing to people
they haven't met before,
perhaps will never meet
and i'm jumping into the bandwagon
i'm grabbin' a seat.

coz' i'm thinking  of you again tonight
thinking of you again
howd'you look like
what are you like
and if i'll ever meet you, when?

i'm not too sure you'd be handsome
perhaps you won't be so tall
perhaps you'd have likable eyes
or maybe i wouldn't like 'em at all.

but i know
i know you'd be kindhearted
you'd be gentle and sweet
and you wouldn't think me crazy
already in love with a guy
i haven't met.

you'd be brave and witty and wise
dependable and true
you'd be the kind to have adventures
and misadventures, too.

you'd be one with me in my faith
we both have the same great love
same trust on the Father
who's crossing our paths from above.

perhaps right now, you're learning
how to write poems for me
i sure hope
that isn't too much to hope for
i love poems, you see.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

In My Head

i can hear you
how you say my name
i can hear you
as if you're inside
my head
i can hear you
as if
you're speaking
to me
as if
you're here
as if you're inside my head
i can hear you.

and you tell me something
about the weather something
in the news something
about the car
that just passed by
and all the while
what you mean is
you shouldn't be talking to me
coz' you've got other important
things to do
and really,
you shouldn't be here.
not inside my head.
not inside my head.

and you whispered
i heard you whisper
hey, i gotta go
but you didn't.

you're inside my head
and you shouldn't be.
go
go
go!
GO!
away.

Para sa Hindi Ko Mapangalanan (1)

hindi ako tumitingin
hindi ako tumatawa
wala akong sinasabi
kasi.

hindi ako sumasagot
hindi kita naiisip
(ng sinasadya)
hindi ako kinikilig
(ng halata)
kasi.

hindi ako interesado
(kuno)
wala akong pakialam
hindi ko napapansin
(dapat)
kasi.

sana

ikaw ang tumingin
ngumiti
tumawa
magsabi

ikaw ang magtaka
magtanong
mag-isip
kiligin
ng sinasadya.

sana
gawin mo rin
ang mga ginagawa ko
ng palihim.