Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Jigsaw Puzzle Life

He made my jigsaw puzzle life
with the pieces in their proper places
Everything fitted. It was perfect.

but what i did was
I turned it upside down
so that I
could "build" it on my own
and lost little pieces as i did.

He patiently picked each one
and placed them where they fit.

i thought i did everything
i thought it was me.

something jarred the puzzle
and the pieces scattered
all over the place
i picked them up...
and picked them up...
and picked and picked them up;
until i got tired
until i lost the little pieces
once more

He picked those little pieces up again

but i already replaced those
little pieces with others
that seemed to fit
but didn't.

and for a long time
my jigsaw puzzle life
had pieces that didn't belong.

inside, i ached for the little pieces
i thought i had lost
i tried to look for them.
i tried... until i got tired
and looked for them no more.
but i hid the unhappiness
because weakness was not
something to be shown

and then He called.

because i was busy
trying to build my life on my own
i did not hear Him call.
i was trying to make those
that didn't fit the puzzle
look as if they did.

and then He reached out his hand.
to show me the pieces that truly fit.

but i was looking for other pieces
so i did not see.
and i looked all over the place
but all i found was pieces
that didn't fit at all.

and so He put His hand on my shoulder
He told me to rest
He told me not to look for other pieces
He had them in His hands.
and if only i would remove the pieces
that don't fit
i would be whole again.

but frightened and hurting and broken
i was afraid to let go
of any part of the jigsaw-
the jigsaw puzzle life
that looked whole but was not.

He said let me replace the pieces
that hurt
let me put back the little pieces
that mattered
and you will be whole again.

and so reluctantly
and so hopefully
one by one...
i removed those that didn't fit
for the ones that were in His hands
for the ones that did.

and one by one
... piece by piece...

i'm being made whole again.

by the same hand that created
my jigsaw puzzle life.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalms 34:18

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