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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

dreamless*

sept 28, 2008

i tried to paint the face in my mind

but it just wouldn't form
the color had faded.
it's not even black
i tried to hold on to the smile
but it just slips through my hand
i tried to remember the feebled voice of agony
and the sadness of inevitability
and the sound of the fading
footsteps

but only silence remained
and then nothing.
i tried to recall the happiness of the earlier time
and the ghost of the joy
from the bruises of guided learning
or the trace of gratitude
for the balance gained from guidance
but nothing
i tried to feel the last touch of the hand
the tightness for a moment
in the fruitless attempt to hold on.
but there wasn't
no sadness
no wistfulness
nothing,
only the feeling that i should have remembered
more than just the name.

*****************************************************************************
*wherever you are, maybe we will meet again.
and then perhaps you could tell me those stories,
like you did before (did you?)
or your dreams if you had them.
i guess i'm kinda sorry i
never did try to retain the memories
but you see, i never really expected that i would forget-
or that i would try to remember someday*

*happy birthday - that is, if you still count the years.*

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